Too Many Men

In my current environment I would say that gender distribution is typically structured according to traditional views. That is to say, the professional staff is dominated by males and the non-professional by females. Among the professional positions, women make up only 22%, and this is at a push. That is a tiny number, and the higher up the ladder you get, the smaller the numbers get. That is not to say that it is the same in all organisations, never mind in all professions, but I think it goes to highlight just how stark gender disparities are, the constraints and limitations women face and that definitely something needs to be done about it. Even by that simple statistic many female colleagues could be put off even trying to enter the "market" at such high levels and redirect their efforts to situations that are seemingly more "female friendly". If we consider even further back, to youths, or children who begin dreaming about what "I'm going to be when I grow up" I am sure if they see that an environment is particularly dominated by their gender they would gravitate towards it. That is not to say that progress has not been made. I am too young to confidently and accurately recall what the situation was like 20 years or 30 years back, but I am certain that the sex discrimination act, or provisions for child care and maternity leave were very hard to find.

On the other hand the whole concept of gender brings with it its own problems. It is one thing to advocate equality among the sexes in certain aspects. But I don't think enough care is taken to appropriately measure or account for what the term equality means. In Amartya Sen's "Development as Freedom" he talks about capabilities and opportunities. About how one's development or a community's development is measured by their access to opportunities. And so equality would imply that both sexes have access to the same amount of opportunities. But there are varying factors that must be taken into consideration. It is not enough to simply state "here, look … you can go and do that". There are traditional, cultural and social constraints, as well as economic constraints that limit one's access to such "equal opportunities". And so these must be addressed. Further, or more importantly, I believe that equality does not mean being able to do the same thing. For one, we are created differently (thank God). We all have different functions, strengths and weaknesses etc. So implementing a policy that is supposedly "gender neutral" does not in fact deal with these problems , if anything it just increases them.

I was reading some articles (Beyond the Economic Man by Ferber and Nelson) in which they discuss the problems associated with the word gender. One often assumes that if gender is to be disscused then it is that of women. But there are two genders, males and females, so maybe there needs to be some kind of balance?

Anyway… I think that women face many more constraints when it comes to the professional world and they need much more support .

Love: Truly

To be perfectly honest I've been avoiding writing the follow up to this. I realised that I had started something that was in-depth, complex, personal and just damned confusing.

We all speak of love so freely, but if we took a moment to consider what we meant by love, I am sure that you would be feeling what I feel right now.

I say "I love you", " I heart you", many times a day (as of late anyways), in different ways to many different people. But what are my personal intentions with those words? Last week, I was conscious that I wanted to complete, or at the least, add to my previous input so I was going around trying to make myself sensitive to my surroundings. And quite fittingly, the topic of our weekly Bible study was Love. I left feeling …hmm…more assured but at the same time confused.

This is a lot harder than I thought. I'm not sure if its because it’s a hard topic to discuss or because there is a mental block in sharing as feelings and views are personal. Probably a mixture of both. So my input may not sound all that put together.

I guess in me saying "I love you" to whomever it may be, is that I choose to make you a priority in my life. I will do my best to ensure that my actions are respectful, thoughtful and caring. Well that's in a utopia, as I have my bad days - quite frequently. But I guess it's the intentions behind that count? We may have our bad days, but we should continue to show our commitment, and I guess those on the receiving end, if they have truly experienced your love, will still feel loved despite your bad days. It's like in the wedding vows "in sickness and in health, for richer for poor" and "through the good and the bad".

Just thinking about it, "I love you" sometimes seems insufficient. But just take a sec to actually think about what it means (ok it helps to have some soothing jazz floating in the background - i'm listening to Lizz Wright The Orchard) - it's … just, simply, love.

"when you find someone you know you love, just love that person... God will see you through the rest of the way" - Musiq Soulchild

Try Nat King Cole. I'm feeling his music right now. His voice is so....mmmm.

 
(picture from flickr.com)

N'importe quoi!

You know when you wake up and you have that feeling that its going to be one of them days? That's exactly how I feel. My alarm went off at 5.35am this morning, in the midst of some very practical dreams that were enabling me to sort things out in my head. Anyway, I opened my eyes and my other senses came into play, realised that it was cold and refused to get out of bed. So I closed my eyes again and waited for my other alarm to go off at 6.05am. However, the extra half hour did not, as I had hoped, give me the extra boost of energy that I very much required, instead it just shortened the time I had to get myself out of the house - doh.

After getting myself all dapper; stripped shirt, trousers and make-up, I left the house and began my long a** journey to the office. Today is going to be hard day! I was waiting for a taxi at the rond point for about 25 mins - my hailing skills have obviously reclined somewhat. Ok that is bit of a fib. I got a taxi to stop after about 2 mins of arriving at the cross roads. Got in to the cab, Mr Taxi asked where I was going to which I dully responded and he said "nah not going there sorry, too much embouteillage, you know you can take the metro" - CHEEK!!! (Ok so he didn't say it in those exact words, but there's my translation for you. In fact it was a mixture of Arabic and French - key words being in French: mètro, embouteillage).

Taxi drivers here are getting on my last nerve. I have frequented quite a few since arriving in this place - considering they are now my main mode of transportation whilst my aunt is away - I must have sat my bum down in over 20 or so (in other circumstances they have a word for that - oops). I mean in relative terms they are cheap (London), as the average journey costs about 4.500TND (£2.30 or so). But a lot of cheapness makes for very expensive n'est pas?!

The journey into work took 40 mins. This is a journey that can be achieved sans traffic in around 15mins or if you drive a Mercedes V6, 9mins. I am certain that Mr Taxi man took the longest, slowest route just so he could get some more millimes out of me, I swear!! I mean he would make the normal gestures of honking the horn and all that, to demonstrate that he was in a hurry, but when the occasion came to over-take or move forward, he reclined back into his chair - arghhhhh!!! Normally je suis très calme et tranquille, mais cette matin je me sens pas asi!

Anyhoo, I'm going to look at it as a sort of ... encouragement. It always seems that when things start going well, there are other things that try to push you down. So I'm going to let it go (with gritted teeth) and move forward. No seriously, there are more important things in life that deserve my attention, like not letting my peppermint tea get any colder.

Whenever troubles come your way..... smile and drink tea!!

Time to Step up...

I woke up this morning on fire. I don't know what happened whilst I was sleeping, but today "I am on it"! I think that it's the combination of different things that's been going on around me. But the final trigger was a conversation I had with my lovely sweetness :-) last night. I have definitely found a good thing.

Anyway, I feel motivated and ready to do what I need to do. I've been kidding myself and allowing myself to remain in my comfort zone for too long. It's finally dawned on me that the things that I have been struggling with; sharing emotions, stepping up, being more assertive are the same things that are preventing me from achieving the goals and dreams that I have. I remember even back to netball games and hockey games at school, our coach would always tell me to be more "aggressive". Why did they put me in the defence positions? (I now have a puzzled look on my face) - anyway, now it's time for change.

We all have goals and dreams. For me I believe that God wouldn't have given me these goals and dreams if they weren't achievable. I've tried to push myself to think that I can only have one, but why? Who says that we can't achieve everything we set out to do. Ok, I might be sounding a bit pompous or arrogant, but its not about that at all. It's about having confidence in your God, your abilities and a realistic understanding of the world around you. I have been stupid not to see that I have family and friends who are there, supporting me and not judging me. I cannot achieve everything through my own will, I do need the help of others.

As a very special person reminded me, life is about the choices that we make. The decisions we make today have an impact on how our lives will turn out tomorrow. So we need to make the choice that we think will lead us to the place that we want to be. So it might mean making some sacrifices today, but the gains to come will be oh so sweet :-). It's also about deciding on what your priorities are in life and ensuring that your actions reflect exactly that. It's not supposed to be easy, otherwise we would all be the happiest people. But with God as my fortress and my rock…all things are possible.

I guess what I am saying to you is, don't underestimate your abilities. Have dreams, but also have the confidence and be pragmatic as to how these dreams are achieved. Also be flexible, because inevitably things will not turn out as you planned. But that's ok…learn from it, and make the next choice.

I endeavour to take each day as it comes. Deal with the tasks and challenges that present themselves now, live and enjoy today, but focus on the future and all that God has in store for me.

I'm sharing this with you because I want it to be testament to the difference that is to come in all our lives. I want you all to be my witnesses and I shall be yours. I am ready to step up, but I know that it will be difficult. If ever I slack, I will rely on you to tell me. Are you ready?

Listen to this

Beautiful Flower - India Arie

Toute Seule

I've been left to fend for myself for the next 3 weeks. I have got through the first week and i'm still here ... so something must be going right. However, this week i think will prove particularly challenging as things will not be so clearly marked out for me. "Enti a nor bin wan make adgo" - i'm forced to do it now.

So what have i achieved "all by myself"? Well lets see: i've discovered the wonders of le pain Turc a la petite patisserie which is at the bottom of the hill. Getting there and back also does wonders for ones thighs, but i'm not sure it cancels out those empty carbs...hmmm. Also, i think i have now moved up to the level of "novice" in hailing taxis, i'm no longer left wanting for 30 - 45mins - improvement! I even got a taxi to the office this morning. Got stuck in wretched traffic or as they say here "embouteillage". I'm convinced that Mr. Taxi took the longer route today just so that he can get more money from me....Patience I say.

I've also been to Hash....don't ask me what it means coz i don't know. But it involves a group of random people driving to obscure, historical/tourist places and running - or for those like me who just wasn't feeling it walking and taking in the sites. They also sing songs, and initiate new members all of which involves downing beer. It was the first time that i saw goats and cows up close and personal...not too close mind you. We went walking in the country, squashing white snails - now it wasn't animal cruelty, but these little creatures were everywhere, to avoid them you would have to walk on your big toe (is that even possible?) I went in and out of roman ruins, visited the auditoriums (or the remains) and went inside the shells of the roman baths. It was awe-inspiring, just thinking that these structures have been standing for hundreds of years....

Pics to follow.

As promised...

Sheep!!

Some other ruins - couldn't keep up with the explanation.

Me in the roman baths - with olive branch in one hand.

goats - i forgot to mention them

That's it for now. If you want more pics...just ask.

L'eglise reformee

View from the terrace

Pics - Tunis

Some pics just to prove that i am actually here!!

La fontaine

Just got back from a long Sunday afternoon. Went to church this morning - i got there all by myself i did. Got lost a bit in the taxi, but got to the destination in the end. I was in luck though as i fell on a taxi driver that spoke eloquent French and pas mal anglais aussi. Just another little reminder that God is looking out for me. This afternoon i accompanied a friend to a house viewing. The house is absolutely beautiful, grand, spacious, peaceful and quiet, the only problem is that it's en face d'une mosque, with calls to prayer five times a day. Now i told him that if he wanted the house bad enough (i mean it's BEAUTIFUL) then its something he'll get used to, but is it somewhere I would live, i'm not sure. Tunisia is known for their liberal ways, so i'm sure there would be no problems at all, plus le mosque is not too active as it only calls a small crowd of 5 or 10 people, but it's still something to take into consideration.

The rest of the afternoon was spent "living it up" a bit in the residences of Berges du lac. Another friend has just moved into a house in the area and this place is "WOW" - it's just amazing. All i need to tell you is that it has a fountain in the house - yep inside the house. And its no small fontaine either. I wish i had my camera coz i would have taken a pic and shown you, but my camera has gone missing ever since leaving it in the office - my own fault i guess.

Life is what you make it... as they say. And i've never really felt it more than i do right now. There are opportunities in this place that you wouldn't be able to have in any other place. The standard of living is good as well - nothing compared to London. To say that people don't work hard here would be a lie, but at least you get to see the fruits of your labour. In these economic times, its calling us, especially the younguns to consider alternative pastures. I also didn't realise that there's such an active expatriate community that resides here. But i guess it makes sense coz it's not far from Europe and it's not really Africa now is it? Which is a problem in itself as it's watering down some of the objectives that people are trying to achieve.

Choices: Where there’s a will there’s always a way.

25th October 2009

We all have them, and often make the wrong ones because of naiveté, ignorance, or just undue attention to the facts.

This weekend, unlike other past weekends here, has not been as action filled, energetic or inspiring. In fact I have spent the entire time in the close vicinity of the house, passing my time in the land of unconscious and experiencing the delights of daytime television in a foreign land. And as I reflect back on my complete idleness, although the rest was much needed, I feel a sense of disappointment in myself for not trying to make more of the situation. It becomes very easy to get accustomed to being/living in a certain way and when that option is no longer available to you, it’s a lot easier to sit on one’s derrière than try and change the situation. Ok, enough of the cryptic talk. Basically, I had the option of doing quite exciting things, like scuba diving and going out and socialising with people of my own age in an environment that is not so foreign from the likes of the London night scene. However, me being myself I turned down both opportunities because I guess in all honesty I couldn’t be bothered to put the extra effort in to get myself to those locations. I’ve adjusted to the luxury of being driven around, or just tagging along to places, that the thought of going out into the real Tunis by myself is rather frightening. We live in the suburbs of the city, where transportation is not frequent and is often difficult to find.
What I have learnt or rather what I have come to realise is that options do not usually come up in this place and so when they present themselves I need to take full advantage of them. Nevertheless, it’s given me an insight into how living here would be. It would definitely push me out of my comfort zone, something that I know is much needed but I have been reluctant to accept.