Reflections

The festive season is drawing to a close and so is this year. I'm looking into 2010 feeling at peace, relaxed and I guess knowing that challenges will come (it's inevitable, it's me we are talking about), but I feel stronger and more prepared. This year has been a year of lessons for me. Many of them commonsensical, but for me they have changed my outlook on how I perceive life and relationships.

God has continued to show his grace and faithfulness in all areas of my life. I guess next year will be a year where I will be challenged to show my faithfulness in God. I have learnt to "let go and let be". I have learnt that usually the things that I am running from is actually where I'm supposed to be. I have learnt the importance of friendships and the bonds that exist between brothers and sisters, whether by blood or otherwise. I have been able to grasp just a little more, the extent of God's love for His children. And with regards to relationships…I'm still on the learning curve, but I'm definitely enjoying the ride.

We are all privileged enough to be surrounded by love. And if you don't feel it, maybe you're the one that needs to change how you receive and give? Anyway… we should all give thanks that we have been brought this far, for it was not by our will. Lets continue to show love and encourage one another in the following years, because we could all do with a little more support.

25

I'm sorry I have neglected to post for a while. I have been otherwise preoccupied and not by doing anything particularly exciting either. This past weekend was my birthday. Another year older, or as I like to see it, another year wiser. Well at least I hope that's true. It's at times of milestones or anniversaries that we force ourselves to reflect. But if we took more time reflecting, learning and understanding then I believe that life would be more meaningful and more fulfilling. But we're young, so it's cool if we make mistakes right? Over and over and over…

Anyhoo, the weekend was nice and relaxing. I felt that it was the first weekend that I truly felt rested and settled in my surroundings - although I did kind of undo the effects of this on Sunday night by having a prolonged Skype communication (well worth it though.) I am blessed to be where I am now. I know that it was not by my doing that I am surrounded with people and characters that I get along with, who are caring and warm. I am completely blessed.

The day itself involved me running around the house, cleaning, dusting, arranging . I also spent a significant proportion of the morning decorating my Christmas tree (picture to be uploaded later). I decided to steer away from traditional decorations and opted for an orange theme, it looks rather lush. And if you are wondering, it's not difficult to get decorations here, but neither is it easy. There's only one store that stocks anything to do with Christmas - Carrefour - and that's coz its French. Also Christmas day itself is a normal working day, interesting. That aside, birthday celebrations consisted of a gathering of a select few, eating jollof rice and stew with fish and veggies, eating the most divine chocolate birthday cake - this thing was too good. Layers of chocolate (noir, white, cream) with almonds as it's base and cookie bits, truffled-like centre and creaming chocolate icing. For those that don't like chocolate, I'm sorry, for those that do…if only I could have saved you a piece. The rest of the evening was spent listening to some old-skool jamz (since when did the music I know become old skool?) with mellow chatter. It was nice.

Djerba

Sitting in the back sit of a volkswagen 4x4 something or another at 8am on the Friday of Eid, I prepared myself mentally for the journey ahead. I knew that where ever we were headed would take a while. I'd heard talk of between 4 - 6hrs drive, but I had not really, truly, taken in the significance of this. In fact I had completely ignored doing any sort of pre-journey preparation, even down to checking a map and looking up the place we were headed to. My mentality at the time was more of a "no tiene a nada", I'm not driving, why'd you have to get me up so early on a day off. I was preoccupied with other things. When I finally laid eyes upon a map and was instructed that the journey would be around 500kms and I saw the distance, it finally dawned upon me.

So here it is, the journey that we embarked on. Luckily though "le temps passe vite" and we arrived safely at the hotel in Djerba at 2:45pm. We made some pit stops (mainly for me). Picked a cactus fruit and got attacked by it's tiny fine protectors. Ended up using tweezers to get them out. Passed numerous market stalls on the way with their colourful ceramics and hot peppers hanging. Not to forget the poor lil agneau that were being sacrificed :-(

I would attempt to describe the place to you but pictures can do that better:

(pictures from the hotel)

(view from my room)

(postcard perfect n'est pas?)

(sunrise)

You have to admit the place is beautiful!

Get out the way!

So, I realise that I am in my head way too much. I could use excuses like, I'm at work all day, sat in front of a computer with actual work to do so I don't get the chance to talk. Or that, I don't want everyone knowing my business or that I need to work it out first etc. But what ever I say, it would all be an excuse and a semi-lie. Yes I am at work all day, and no I'm not going to share my inner most secrets with colleagues, but that shouldn’t stop me from being myself. Further, I may be thousands of kilometres away from friends, but that doesn't stop me calling, writing or even skyping them, now does it?


I think my greatest fear is actually thinking. Yes, I have stuff going on in my head all the time but I'm not actually thinking. When I say thinking, I mean resolving things. Because if I actually thought about things, it would mean that I have an opinion and having an opinion makes you vulnerable, which I don't want. But I am too grown for this nonsense now. I need to make the effort to get involved, feel, contribute and formulate. I am not as weak, ignorant, naïve as I think myself to be. I have a lot to offer and I'm the only person standing in my way.


So I say to myself this day as Ludacris so eloquently put "move b*, get out my way, get out my way b* get out my way!"

Friends: my sisters

Wow, I'm already in December, just weeks left to go now. I have learnt so much - not necessarily professionally - but more about God, life and relationships. I know that I am where I am supposed to be right now in my life so I have stopped fighting and I'm just gonna role with it till it's time to change again.


Don't ever be fooled. Physical distance has no bearing on the strength of a relationship. And I am not talking about the romantic type. I have seen my friends grow and become more assured in themselves and their decisions. Maybe it's the age that we have reached and a lingering understanding that change must occur. But others are at the same age and have made very little change. And it is not a tangible change, but rather dynamics that occur within us that bring about an external outcome. I feel totally blessed having you all in my life. I know that God has brought us together for a reason and I will cherish the friendship that we have.

I thought this pic, gives a glimpse of how i feel when with you

I love you all…..