Month of Love: Close

As the "month of love" draws to a close, I do wonder to myself if I have learnt anything. Love is a complex thing, it is a choice. We can opt in or opt out. It's easy to do either, but it seems like we have a problem remaining in either camp.

Choosing to love is probably one of the easiest decisions we can make as humans. We are personable people and want the company of others. But being in love or showing love to others requires sacrifices, and we are selfish.

Over the past few months, I have learnt just how much of a selfish being I am. I thought that I was perfect.... well close enough anyways. How WRONG I was. Living with another being and spending all your time together makes you realise just how much you enjoy your own space. I know, earlier I said that we want the company of others, and that is true, no one wants to be alone. But it seems as though as soon as we get that, or rather too much of that, we want to push back, we feel threatened.

I am learning the lessons of being a better person every day. But I am having problems with the implementation process. That would mean, changing myself and admitting that I am wrong and have been for a while. I need a lot more courage and faith. God says that we have nothing to fear, and as sure I am about the truth of that fact, it is extremely hard to live it out.

What have you learnt this month?

Valentine's Cakes

As my pressie this year, I decided to bake. Hubby loves cakes and biscuits and I love to experiment.

The intention was to make heart-shaped shortbread biscuits and a red velvet cake, but good intentions don't always come to fruition especially if you don't plan! I forgot to get the heart-shaped cookie cutter so had to go to the groceries on the morning and I also learnt that "natural red" food colouring (the one in the bottle) shouldn't be used for red velvet cake. In my defence I thought I was doing a good thing because I didn't want to have all those e-numbers. I have since found a recipe on sophistimom that I am yet to try, but will definitely give a go once lent is over.

So this is the fruit of my labour for Valentine's day:

btw... cake tasted amazing and my shortbread was the best yet.

I used the recipe from BBC website for both things: Red Velvet and Shortbread Biscuits . But when making a red velvet cake you definitely do not need as much coco powder.

I attempted to make a white chocolate icing using cream. I had seen a recipe years ago and it always came out brilliantly, this time not so. I need to track that one down. So if you know of one that uses cream as supposed to butter please send it my way.

It wasn't all me... my hubby made me a lovely dinner of asparagus in bacon served with monkfish:

Love: Community

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How many of us actually take in our surroundings when we are out and about? Whilst walking along the streets, are we taking in what we see, looking for those who need help or are we more concerned about getting to places on time, seeing who has texted us or fitting in a phone call? I know where I fall in.

Recently, I have been challenged by the actions of a very close friend of mine. Whilst we were on our way out, we briefly noticed a lady who was walking in the opposite direction to us. Upon our return, we noticed this same lady in the same area as before. She was walking very slowly, as if she had no real destination; she looked cold (it had just snowed) and ill. My friend, immediately showed concern (I think because we had seen her before) and wanted to offer her gloves that he was wearing. Without much hesitation, he crossed the street, asked her if she was ok, to which she replied that she was fine but was on her way back to the hospital (so obviously wasn’t too good), and then offered her the gloves for which she was really grateful.

That simple act of kindness, I’m sure brightened up her day, even if just for a short while. And I hope that in some small way will have a positive effect on her. Now every time I think of gloves or see them, I think of her.

How courageous are we to be selfless? Personally, I know that I am lacking in this area. The act of love should not only reach those that are closest to us but reach out to those that are in need. This is a challenge both to myself and to you.

Deuteronomy 15:11

There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land.

Proverbs 19:17
Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done.

Perfect Love

1 John 4:17-19

In this, love is perfected with us so that we may have confidence in the day of judgement; for we are as He is in this world. There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love.

I came across this passage over the weekend, and the final sentence got me. It states quite clearly that to love perfectly, that we should fear nothing. But is this really achievable. I know it is because it says so in the Bible, but how? Thinking of myself and the many “fears” or “anxieties” that I have (which I have also learnt is not fruitful) I do wonder if I will ever get to that place of perfect love. How do you feel about it? Do you even think that it is necessary?

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Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

Wishing you love and happiness. 

Here are some pics/wallpapers that I've found online that I thought were cute:

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This is a reminder that I need to go out and get me some so I can make the cookies for my man.
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Go on.... tell someone you love them.... you know you want to. 

Does Valentine's Change after Marriage?

This is a re-post from writer Katie McCarthy. What are your thoughts? Is Valentine's important once you get married?

As kids, everyone loves Valentine's Day because it means you get to buy cards with your favorite pop-culture characters on them and give them out to everyone in class; you also get cards from everyone in return, not to mention candy and a break from the school day for a "party." 

Fast forward a few years and things start to fracture. Some people still love the day, others call it a "Hallmark holiday," others derisively say it's Singles Awareness Day and opt to get drunk with all their other single friends.
I always claimed as a young adult that I hated Valentine's Day. I felt it had no fundamental meaning or purpose, just another way for all those lovey-dovey couples to rub their happiness in the faces of single folks. 

So before we even started dating, when my now-husband and I discussed Valentine's Day, that was how I framed my feelings for it. "Eh, I don't really care about Valentine's Day. It's a stupid holiday."
But we officially became a couple on Feb. 12 and I couldn't help but feel just a little excited by the fact that I'd have a Valentine that year.
Four years and a wedding later, I'm still trying to take back my anti-Valentine's Day sentiments. Though I still feel that Valentine's Day is of lesser import than most holidays, I'm still a girl and I want flowers damnit!
Last year, when we were engaged, he did pretty good — Godiva chocolates, a bag of "New Moon" conversation hearts (don't laugh, they were awesome!) and a sweet card, lovingly signed "Here's your valentine, now quit your bitching!" or something to that effect. 

Ah, sweet romance. 

Now, in his defense, I've known how he feels about Valentine's Day from the start (thinks it's stupid and cliche) and his view hasn't changed. He's pretty ambivalent to all the hoopla and he tells me I misled him. Oops. 

I don't imagine this year, my first Valentine's Day as a wife, will be too different.
Chances are our first Valentine's Day as husband and wife will go one of three ways: I'll nag him until he begrudgingly gets me something just to shut me up; I won't say anything and he'll totally forget about it; I'll casually mention how I've already bought his Valentine's Day card & present and he'll come up with something he's already done/bought for me and how that can serve as my Valentine's gift. 

He's a pretty funny guy. But he has been known to surprise me on occasion, so ... we'll see. 

As with many other personality characteristics, if a man isn't into it before you get married, he's not likely to be into it afterwards either. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. A lack of participation in Valentine's Day does not equal a lack of love, even though the opposite has been drilled into our heads for so long. 

I've got a built-in Valentine for life, not just on Feb. 14. And that's worth more than all the long-stemmed roses (with their holiday-inflated prices) you can buy. (And besides, I prefer lilies. Hint. Hint.)

Posted here  on 02/08/11.

P.s MR O - my fav flowers are peonies and African Lilies

Read more here: http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/2011/02/08/1451397/does-valentines-day-change-after.html#storylink=cpy

"What you thinking?"

Men and Women are very different. What’s new in that piece of analysis I hear you say. Well, I’ve been experiencing this very fact for the last 6 months now. In my ignorance I had assumed upon getting married, all problems of miscommunication, feeling like we just don’t get each other would just simply disappear. Needless to say that in our pre-marriage counselling it was heavily highlighted that such aspirations are just that, dreams – but a girl can dream, no? We always think, “Maybe it’ll be different for us” – oh how simple as humans we are.

Men just don’t think! Well in the same way as I do at least. My mind is constantly ticking over something. Whether its mulling over what to prepare for dinner, deciding how I’m going to start a career, what career I should go into, whether the oven needs a clean and if I can fit it in today, or if I’m ready to reproduce – I’m always thinking. Guys on the other hand, don’t seem to undertake such complex/long-winded trains of thought (they may deem them to be unnecessary).

Now me being me, I’ve always tried to “understand” men. I figure that the best way to achieve this is to try and understand what goes on in their heads, so you can try and figure out what makes them tick. I think in large this has been a futile exercise, well at least in the way I have approached it.

“What you thinking” I think is probably the worst thing you could ask a guy….. regardless of who is responding, even my husband who I thought “definitely, we’ll be on the same wave-length” it is always “erm….nothing”. How can it be so? Do men really not think? And why don’t they have the same thoughts as I do? Life would really be a whole lot easier if we could just understand each other.

Living with another person is definitely a challenge. We are all different and approach things as it suits us best. Thinking back to the days of shared accommodation in Uni, I realise that my current frustrations aren’t new. But there is a VERY big difference now. At Uni, you know that you will not be living with your student friends for ever, and you just don’t love them like that. Now, we have to work on ways of compromising, which sometimes means just letting things go. To be honest, life is just too short to worry about who makes the bed in the morning or the fact that the cushions haven’t been fluffed up recently.

Nevertheless, I do hope that one day I get to the stage where I no longer have the urge to ask “so……. what you thinking” because we’ll just get each other. Right? 

Month of Love

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As the name of my blog suggests, the main topic of discussion is usually that of the emotional character. So it would be fitting that in this month of February, also a synonym for love, that I should share with you my words of wisdom. So watch out for various posts this month as I share my experiences.

xxx

Project 52

As one of my Christmas pressies, hubby bought me a brand new Sony NEX C-3. Apparently, it’s the new development in the photography market. It’s a combination of the best bits of technology from the SLR cameras and digital. He has great ambitions for me. According to his time plan, I will be hosting my own exhibition by the end of the year…. But we’ll see about that.

I guess in response to that, I took upon myself a project. The project originally started as Project 365, the idea being, that I will take a photo every day of the year. After the first two weeks of enthusiasm, I quickly realised, that this task would be more difficult than I had imagined. My daily activities are not as varied as I would like and when I do go out, I see the same things (I guess that should inspire me to get out more). Plus it’s just too cold at the moment to try and fiddle with buttons/touch screen whilst being exposed to the elements. So my Project 365 has now dwindled down to a more manageable Project 52: one picture per week. So here is my offering for January!

I'm back!

It’s been exactly one year since I last did a post. In that time, as I predicted in my penultimate post, many things have changed; some that were anticipated and many not so. I took a break as I couldn’t keep up with all the demands; I guess life is like that sometimes. There are seasons as they say. Sometimes you will do everything and sometimes you have to choose.

Overall 2011 was a good year. A good year and a significant one. The biggest change for me is that I am now married! Yep, I am now a fully-fledged WIFE…. Whatever that is supposed to mean – rather I mean it means different things to different people. I’m still working it out. With this change, I have moved house, changed jobs, become unemployed and had a severe heartache along the way too. But all is well, I am alive and kicking and looking forward to what 2012 has in store.

This year I pray and hope, will also be one of significant changes. I also hope it’ll be a year where I can put all the lessons learnt last year into practice. Some of which I will be sharing with you.

I feel that when we start a new year we need the first month to sort out our heads. The new year tends to creep in on us, and with Christmas and holidays so close by, we tend to have little time to ourselves to just think and reflect and work out a plan of action. January offers me that luxury. So you could say that my new year starts in February. So with that in mind …. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!